The Journey Seems like a Dream

I am currently in Toowoomba, Australia with my Mum and Nikita. My little sister is no longer little, she is in her second last year of school and is pretty much a full blown human. My mother is well and currently in the process of movement, a new job requires relocation. And me, well...I'm here! I'm here right now in front of the machine and that's all I've got. Since I last blogged a tremendous amount of activity has occurred and no longer is...I passed through Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand and then arrived here in the land down under almost a week ago. It feels as if the journey was but a dream though, everything here and now is so real that 5 months of gallivanting from Europe to South East Asia does not feel real...and all I've got to show for it are a couple of Tattoos, some t-shirts and little nick-naks here and there...my internal journey of course is a different ball game and the experiences will always exist in the fibre that binds my body and prevents me from falling apart. And I was honoured to have made some new friends along the way, I met some people who have made my smile stretch from ear to ear and generously shared time and space with such fervour and love for which I'm eternally grateful.

I shall try and share some stories and thoughts about the trip though, for it really did happen and I'm an altered human due to the wonderful journey that enfolded upon a whim. I succeeded in having a journey that took me to me and exposed me to new worlds and humans, new thoughts and experiences, new sights and energies, new food and emotions...There were ups and downs! There was sobriety and delusion! There were tears yet an abundance of laughter, silence and noise, darkness and light, fear and bravado and I was there for it all and came through the other end with a smile on my face and health in my system!

I wrote an email some days ago and decided to cut and paste parts of it, so here are some snippets:

"From China I headed down to Laos where I was swept into the relaxed and peaceful world of the Laos people. Things don't move very fast and things don't happen very quickly. A boat trip said to take 5 hours could take 8, a bus trip said to be 9 hours could take 16. There was no rushing and things just flowed and happened when they wanted to. In Laos there are places with no cars and the only way to access them is by boat. Once there the one road is shared with cows, pigs, chickens, children playing games and fellow humans on feet. People greet each other simply because they pass each other on the street and if in the know a simple greeting could take a few minutes because there is time for such interaction. The nature all of a sudden became subtropical and lush, giant butterflies fluttered about, leeches squirmed in the bushes, trees hovered above seemingly touching the sky and the different shades of green presented a pallet for the eyes delight. Wide and generous Smiles hopped from face to face and an acceptance of life's treasures sat secretly behind each face. Here Buddhism too had a hold of the people yet a simpler less ritualistic existence for the monks was evident (no mobile phones and fancy cameras were owned by the Monks as they were with the Tibetan and Chinese Monks). Barefoot they walked about begging for alms and spreading loving kindness and tranquility in their paths. Trips on boats along the rivers were for me a highlight, sitting in a boat and watching the world go by around me...and the world being one of wild tropical nature. Monkeys swinging in the trees and birds swooping about! The food was also a treat, tropical fruit shakes everyday, coconut water flowing at every corner, vegetables grown in rich soil not contaminated by pesticides or too much high technology, a tomato smelling and tasting like a tomato. A banana without the powdery taste of been plucked to soon from her tree....mangoes....dragonfruit....lychees.....hmmm....


Vietnam was a complete change from laid back Laos....all of a sudden things got faster and more efficient and organised. People became a bit less smiley and more determined to get their dollar from you, you who are just a tourist and a source of income. Beneath the strong exterior though one can always find the human and they too were good people even if they wanted you to believe otherwise at times. Communism became more apparent and red flags waved at every corner, especially in the North, around Dien Bien Pho (where they defeated the french) and Hanoi. Up in the North I visited a place called Sapa that was very chilled and relaxed in comparison to the rest of the county and there one could get lost in the mountains walking for days through different villages where the hill tribes of the H'mong people (and other tribes) live. Rice paddies dominated the landscape and the temperatures were cooler. The rest of my time in vietnam was along the tourist route and I traveled with a young man who lived to Party so together we partied from the North to the South. We ate some of the most delicious and fresh Vietnamese food...always the best food coming from the streets rather than the restaurants. We visited sacred sites but were often disappointed because a lot of it was done up post the wars and therefore had a feeling of being slightly fake and designed purely for the tourists enjoyment ... this was not always the case...just often! Halong bay was a highlight though, the Limestone Islets protruding out of the water were a sight and a half and cruising along on a boat to see them was pretty special. Very touristic which is expected as it is Vietnam's Eiffel tower in many ways so no escaping that.

From the Hustle and Bustle of Ho Chin Minh City I returned to tranquility, in Cambodia. It is the poorest of the South East Asian Countries and despite been so close to Vietnam and Laos was a new world once again. It's own history, it's own story and it's own way of doing things. The people too looked different and had a general different vibe to them. More smiles yet not with the same relaxed nature as the Laos. There are endless possibilities to volunteer ones services in Cambodia from being a presence in an orphanage to teaching English to local entrepreneurs. I didn't get involved with anything but met many who had and said it was an experience worth doing over and over again because in that way one is able to really connect to the people rather than simply purchasing food and accommodation from those running businesses. I had planned to speed through Cambodia over to Thailand but ended up staying almost 3 weeks. I met some really lovely people and just had to stop and breath after the wild partying adventures in Vietnam. There I spent time by the beach and entertained the many children selling what ever they could to the tourists in order to earn some cash. I let them paint my nails, give me massages, make bracelets and slowly but surely take money money money...being bombarded by children selling stuff was something I experienced only in Cambodia and it was pretty intense because they were business savvy and used the fact that they were cute kids to their best advantage, they would play on cuteness and if that didn't work they would try for empathy, "i need to buy new school uniform", "I have no parents" etc...it was a tough things deal with for me...especially cause I've worked with kids for the past 4 years, kids the same age as them...but again new experiences.

The ruins of Angkor Wat were pretty impressive and after 3 days of exploring that ancient Kingdom I was exhausted from all the stimulus. There were not so many tourists when I was there and I felt overwhelmed, I can only imagine what it must be like in Peak season! But they were amazing. In particular what stood out was the power of nature. The strength of the trees to burst through stone and engulf such big structures in her vines and roots. having a tree growing over a wall was just phenomenal!"

Until next time....

Love and respect

Tandi

Technology sucks some times!!!!

I sat for 3 hours the other day and wrote one of my most epic blogs about my time in Laos and as I pressed publish I lost everything...I was so disheartened that I could not bring myself to spend any time, other than a quick facebook update, in front of the machine. So now I hope to build the stamina to share some of my adventures. I will not do it now as I have a day of exploring to do here in Hue, Vietnam but I wanted to write and say I am soooooo well and happy and that everything is going as it should. Love from me to you!

Sleeper bus and Farewell to China for now...

Last night I took my first sleeper bus! What a fabulous fabulous way to travel long distance. I took a 15 hour bus ride from Riga to Moscow and ended up with swollen feet and a sore back. On the sleeper bus from Dali to Jing Hong life couldn't have been better for my back or feet. Perhaps if I were a bit taller I would be complaining dramatically cause my height is the limit for a comortable journey I think. There were moments where I had to move my head back up to the top of the bed so my legs could regain the private space...it was luxury and I had most splendid dreams. The only issues might have been the gas release of some of the passengers and the smell of the pillow and blanket but those are minor details in the grand scheme of things.

So, I am now in Jing Hong the capital of Xichuanbanna and I have entered a new world in my China horizons. Here it is a tropical paradise. Palm trees line the roads an oppressive and humid heat fills the atmosphere, the people are soooooooooo chilled out and relaxed and in the 10 hours I've been here i've seen 4 foreigners so I feel like I've left the tourist hoards up north in the cool of the mountains. The minority people here are dominant and I've also seen many Indian looking salesmen, perhaps they are burmese I don't know, but they are dark skinned and all speak English very well. They also wear a sarong and a white singlet, a uniform that sets them apart from the local inhabitants in their bright hats (or their modern get-up). The streets are lined with tropical fruit, mangoes, dragonfruit, mangostines, pawpaws etc...and earlier there was thunder threatening us with rain. I don't think it came though cause it seems fairly dry outside.

I won't be here long unfortunately and fortunately as I've bought my ticket for a Bus to Loas tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn. Dario is in Luang Prabang for another day or two and I don't want to miss him before he heads back to India his land of choice. So I will be leaving China...beautiful and wonderful China! It has really grown on me, of course I have only really seen but a fraction of what she has to offer but that has been enough to develop some serious feelings for her. I met a woman this morning who has travelled from Moscow to here as well and we shared our travel stories. She, I think is more of an adventurer than I as she walks and walks and walks when ever she gets the chance. In mongolia, where she spent a month, she found a stream and simply walked along it for 2 weeks then had to find a way to get back to carry on the train journey. Here she has reconnected with another traveller and tomorrow they're heading out to walk the hills here for 3 days or so...I'm envious of their commitement to walking yet I'm also satisfied with my commitement to relaxing and taking things pretty easy! We discussed different characters we'd met along the road and came to conclusion that part of the joy of travelling alone (as she was before she met the other traveller) was meeting other people and sharing time and space...I wrote of this last time and hold true to it. One of the reasons certain places are remembered with such fondness and stimulate joy in my heart are the people I've met. Having limited Chinese means that most of these people were other travellers (English speaking Chinese included) because there is only so far one can get with thank you and hello when it comes down to the nitty gritty of human communication. Meeting folk along the way has made the way more memorable and special! I'm sure there are travellers with different thoughts on this topic who would completely apose my theory and that's ok! I can only speak for myself.

I met a man yesterday who had travelled through South East Asia quite extensively and he was giving me tad bits of advice on certain places, Laos in particular because I was heading there. It was funny, he claimed to LOVE Laos and all that she had to offer yet by the end of our conversation I was sitting there frightened to move from safe and super developed China. ALL the roads are TERRIBLE, the people will TRY to take ALL my money like VUlTURES eating a carcass, the weather is AWFULLY hot and mosquitos will EAT me alive, the Food is EXPENSIVE and not as good as China, The accommodation is RIDICULOUS and not as cheap and reliable as China, the Trekking is MUCH better in CHinA etc....From all I'd heard about Laos before I felt terribly ignorant and foolish for having any positive thoughts...so now Laos will be a surprise! I'll expect nothing and just hope I survive the hoards of blood sucking mosquitos, the gulping, guzzling, grabbing locals reaching at my limited funds...ha ha! A new chapter awaits!

So from China I say farewell and next contact will be from Laos, mysterious Laos...

Images from here and there.

The Monastary in Shangri-la was under construction. The soil was rich and the plants plentiful and where ever you looked one saw HUGE marijuana plants growing wild! It was at first a novelty to see the plants and I giggled like a kid at the sight and then I realised they were everywhere in the Monastary.

Lhasa Restaurant in Shangri-la was run by a super friendly Tibetan man who had a little girl about one and a half and when there was music playing she boogied hard! So we, a group of 8 gathered around her and danced and clapped as she attempted to immitate any dance she deemed worthy enough to be replicated. When she got tired of trying she would clap and we would clap in response and we danced for a good couple of hours with her...to the point where she was yawning as part of her routine. She experimented with her head movement, walking like and egyptian, grinding down to the ground, shaking her behind etc...it was so beautiful! A friend has the video and if i recieved it I will post it.

Lijiang!!! The old town was a maze of endless shops and eateries and more shops shops shops then the bars and night spots. After having had very little sleep and a been on a bus for four hours we found our lodgings had a cat nap and set out to find food in the pouring tropical rain. We found a set of stalls selling strange little treats and took turns in choosing different options, some tasty some questionable and then by chance we stumbled upon the street with all the bars and entered the rhelm of MADNESS! Ay yay yay!!!! First of all there was a herd of umbrellas competing for space on the walking path and then the sounds started creeping up, LOUD pumping base from each bar, blasting, blaring beats from brightly lit bars with bundles of brawling shouting, singing people releasing their darksides into the anonymity of Lijiang. Each bar with different music and vibes ranging from traditional folk dance to sleazy and sauntry pretty chinese women bumping and grinding to techno beats with chinese lyric a top. It was never ending, one bar after another and then 20 more and on either side of the stream that divided the road. Each bar also had some hired man power attempting to lure the umbrella party into the bar to join the chaos inside! I walked with my jaw on my chest holding on to my friend as he signified a smidgeon of reality. I felt like i was having an outer body experience in a moulin rouge type movie, the colours the vibrance and noise the weight and the uncontrolled release of each individual...it was WILD!!!!!!

Shangri-la la la la la la Lijianggggg Dali

Shangri-la: a permanently happy land, isolated from the outside world.

Shangri-la is often used in a similar context to which "Garden of Eden" might be used, to represent a paradise hidden from modern man. It can sometimes be used as an analogy for a life-long quest or something elusive that is much sought. For a man who spends his life obsessively looking for a cure to a disease, such a cure could be said to be that man's "Shangri-La". It also might be used to represent perfection that is sought by man in the form of love, happiness, or Utopian ideals. It may be used in this context alongside other mythical and famous examples of somewhat similar metaphors such as The Holy Grail, El Dorado and The Fountain of Youth. (Thanks wikipedia)

Shangri-la!!!
Having just read what wiki had to say about Shangri-la I had to smile and sigh a sigh of joy because I had a most amazing time in Zhongdian, Yunnans claim to the 'Garden of Eden'. Perhaps I am a sucker cause part of my amazing time was due to the fact that I met an amazing man and a group of other amazing humans and together we indulgded in the excitement of sharing time and space in paradise.

Filling our bellies with good wholesome food,
gracing our ears with glorious and diverse musical sounds,
moving our bodies in extatic flow,
telling tales and inspiring laughter that took me to tears of joy at times, appreciating the surroundings and knowing that the fun together was impermanant and should therefore be enjoyed in each and every second of experiencing it!
I felt as though on fire for 6 days, intoxicated by life,
elated by the simplest of activities...

Shangri-la was spent playing backgammon,
sipping on tibetan butter tea (good for the altitude i was told),
visiting local markets filled with some of the most exotic produce I have ever seen!
Cabbages the size of my torso,
aubergines the length of my shin,
frogs the size of toads-ranging in shades of green-
bunched up in buckets waiting to be sold
and consumed in some local speciality,
Eels swimming happily,
darting back and forth in their oxygynated tanks
daring the brave to take them home,
Yak heads delicately placed besides their intestines
beneath their hanging and dangling carcasses,
some with smiles on their faces others with scorns of remorse!
Tofu in all shapes and sizes, noodles galore,
black chickens and pink, live ducks and dead,
Green leaves from all walks of life,
Mint in abundance - so fresh and delicious
especially in morrocan tea which we made for 3.5 yuan
and supplied to over 15 folk.
Honey dripping from the honeycombs
and poured directly into ones container,
so sweet and sticky and golden and delicious!
grasshopper and snails,
trotters and pig tails...
I ate lots of dumpling and steamed buns,
I drank Yak milk with yak butter tea,
I ate yak pie which was absolutely DELICIOUS!!!
and drank chinese rice wine till my head span.

And I mentioned I met a man...

The woman in me was awoken once again. I'm a sucker for a romance and realise more and more that this little heart of mine loves to love and to be loved in return! Yet short and sweet serves me fine right now, nothing long term and complicated I seek. This time of my life is for me to do what's best for the betterment of me and if I continue to be as lucky as I have been in meeting special men just for a short time then I adhere to the saying, better to have love and lost(lust) than never loved at all! Each fleeting relationship with each traveller I have encountered has been so intense and wonderful not because they'll be friends for life but in the moment it is real and the bullshit isn't apparent! I've had some of the most incredible conversations which have opened my eyes to different worlds. Discussing the army with some Israeli travellers and hearing their stories first hand of losing friends and loved ones, or gaining insight into what it's like for a Tibetan from Lhasa to be living in China...the act of sharing so simple and clear.

The slight downside of experiencing such blissful moments is that when the next step of the journey is taken the emptiness sits. I sat with emptiness when I arrived here in Dali two days ago. Not sadness or depression just a sense of loss and the natural feeling of missing the people you spent time with. I missed Noa my Koala friend. I missed the lovely man I shared 6 days with, I missed the lady who sold me butter tea and the friendly faces of the staff at my hostel. So I spent some hours in front of the machine facebooking and emailing, youtubing and skyping, I slept for 16 hours straight and woke up yesterday feeling like a new human ready for new adventures! So now I am in Dali for real and last night I met a new group of troupers. I did some fire twirling last night for the first time in 6 years and despite being a bit nervous with the fire I had so much fun and will go back to the Bad Monkey and join in the fire show tonight. My heart was racing so fast i thought it would pop out of my chest from the rush that came after having first played again. the whirling whooshing sound of the fire surrounding me was just fantabulous!!!

I also spoilt myself and indulged in a traditional chinese whole body massage which was heavenly, at times a bit painful but the release after the pain was worth it...I am tempted to go back today for another foot massage because I can! I spent the rest of my day yesterday browsing through the endless stream of shops shops shops selling everything and anythings one could ask for! I bought some pants and now have to throw out some pants cause my back pack cannot fit much more innit! I considered being a good tourist today and visiting some of the local attractions but I must admit I do not have the heart for it. My desire sits in being able to sit at a nice cafe with a book and inbetween reading about Ghengis observing the local and tourist masses cruise control around the old city drinking either some fruit juice or a beer and being open to human interaction if it should come my way. I'll be leaving for The south of Yunnan province tomorrow evening and hope to be in Laos by wednesday to see my beautiful friend Dario!!!! Very exciting!

And on that note, here's a poem my man friend shared with me:

There is pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more,
From these our interviews, in which I steal
From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal.

LORD BYRON, Childe Harold

Tanita

Litang to Doacheng and Yading!

Right now I feel like a million dollars in fact a billion dollars! I'm in Shangri-la and have been having the most wonderful couple of days. My last blog I spoke of the loneliness and like a I predicted, in no time i would meet some super humans, I did. I met a lovely lady traveller coincidently heading in the same direction as me. We decided we would journey to a national park called Yading together and explore all that is to be discovered so we set off in a mini van with a very energetic Tibetan driver and a windy road ahead (every road in the mountains seems to be windy and slightly bumpy). We arrived in Daocheng to a very cosy little hostel with a gorgeous garden...the garden was filled with flowers, some vegetables and at least 15 huge canabis plants towering way above my head. The lady working there spoke immaculate english and we were able to acquire all the necessary information about our journey to the national park....Rubber boots, poncho,warm clothes, good lungs, lots of enthusiasm and a great sense of adventure! So i spent some money (too much i'm told) on a fancy rain jacket, strange but pretty rain boots(pretty cause they had upsidedown hearts on them...made for a lady like I) and some thick socks. We set off at 8 and the ride there was beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Misty blankets covering the hills, smoking steam rising from the mountains, small showers inbetween blue skies which kept us slight optimistic about the weather and also anxious about the inevitable rain and what that would mean for seeing the snowy mountains we so eagerly awaited.

After 2 hours our 3 hour journey came to an abrubt stop outside a slightly official looking building...our driver went out and chatted with his fellow Tibetan driver comrades, returned and told us to get out with our bags...(his english was limited) so without choice we got out with our bags wondering if this was Yading??? Yading??? Yes? No? Finally an English speaker explained that the driver could go no further and that as of today tourists entering Yading have to take an "official" bus which cost 120 yuan (which is madness cause there was only an hour left) So having no choice and slight frustration at having to pay for the bus and the entrance fee we set off once again, now with an English speaking super energetic Tibetan man who took us under his wing. He decided we would sleep at the same hostel (which he luckily organised) and that we would walk together too...which was great! So the 7 of us (3 chinese, 1 south korean, 1 israeli, 1 tibetan and myself) set of up the mountain to see one of the sacred snowy mountains and pearl lake. We were about 3900 meters above sea level and heading up to 4200. It was a bit of a struggle with the altitude working against us and it was worth it. the air was fresh, the scenery spectacular and we were moving, i was moving. On the road i've felt a little lazy at times and the need for physical activity has been sought when possible...stairs or escalator? stairs! The array of scents was also so refreshing and I felt so content with life and her presents. My new friend Noa from Litang is a Koala and koala as you may know take there time but she was so good and despite not feeling up for the walk completed it succesfully and when we sat at pearl lake (which was green, emerald green and very very tranquilo with the cloud covered mountain in front of us) we all felt utterly content and blissful. Many many photos were taken and many many poses were done, created and done again...the most popular being the jump in the air and hope the photographer captures the moment. We hung up there because we were happy and also with the hope that the mountain would clear and we could see her majesty in all her glory! And with all our hopes and some prayers she cleared and she blessed us with her naked presence. She was pretty amazing!!! the contrast with the green lake and the pine trees surrounding it with the rock snow covered mountain towering in the back and reflecting in the water was a sight indeed! once the cloud covered again we decended and food became the next mission (as it often is).

We stayed at a Tibetan run hostel and ate a most delicious dinner cooked and eaten in their kitchen. Lots of delicious spice, veges and Yak! My introduction to yak had started and continues to sneak into my list of consumptions.

The next day we arose before dawn ate a hearty local breakfast of butter tea, rice porridge, runny fried eggs, freshly baked round barley bread and a porridge that took me back to my child hood (it tasted like pro-nutro). Then we set off for the big climb. we were to walk 4km, take an electric car for 8km. walk for 8km (uphill the whole time) see two more beautiful lakes, take photos, walk back 8km, take the electric car for 8km, walk back 4km and then take the bus back to Daocheng....Yes! Ok! No problem! How many hours? 5 hours...No problem! Ok! Lets go! And off we went. My Koala friend was not up for it so she took her time and decided she would not go the whole way...the sky was filled with grey weeping clouds and after the efforts of the previous day our bodies were a bit more tried and tested. My enthusiasm was tenfold and i was ready to run up the mountain if possible. We walked up the 4km in 45 mins no problem. we took the electric car which was slightly chilly and wet but we got where we needed to be to start walking. We walked on the wooden platform and all was copasetic. we started walking on the grass towards the mountain and discovered that it was grass yes, but it was marshland and it was getting wetter and wetter. I felt happy to get out my pretty rain boots...I was the only one the rest were wearing shoes similar to converse!!! material and non weather resistant! As we started towards the trees away from the marshes the mud became apparent. A group of tibetan cowboys then came over and offered us to take some horses for the small fee of 300 yuan. Of course we refused and they insisted that it would be a long and tedious walk because the paths were filled with mud and horse dropping, there were streams and small rivers, there were steep passes and mere mortals would not be capable of doing it....we still refused and laughed at their dramatic speech and their good salesmanship...we were not going to fall for it...we were set to trek up the mountain come what may!

And up I went ahead cause i could with my superrain boots. Then i'd wait for the others to catch up and so the journey went. the mud was at times so intense and gluggy. the horse droppings were everywhere both a hindrance and a good indicator of which way for me to go and the others to avoid and seek alternative routes through the trees to limit the disaster to their shoes. After 3 hours we reached a mountain. it was raining fairly consistantly and the lakes were still not apparent. My patience was being tested as i now had to wait much longer periods of time for the rest of the troupe to catch up and was groing anxious about the journey down and back to doacheng in the light hours of the day. I walked for a further half an hour steadily up and then my instinct said turn round go back...the lakes would just be a cherry on top, the journey was the most important. And so I did...i simply started walking back. I came accross the troup who were struggling but determined to go the 9 yards. So i continued back and they continued up. I walked in the mud, the poo, the water much more carelessly than the way up. I almost feel many times and hunger started creeping up on me. I made it back to the bus stop, wet, muddy, hungry but still happy for the journey i'd had so far. still optimistic and filled with the joy of being in nature and moving. So i waited for the bus...and waited...and waited...and waited...(it rained and the chilled wind blew)...and i waited. And my patience once again was tested. My thoughts wandered along the paths of, 'what kind of service is this...i paid money and expect that a bus should come....and how dare they demand so much money and not deliver the goods...this wouldn't happen in europe or Oz...thee people know nothing of service...and started to deteriorate to, fucking hurry up and get here!!! after 50 minutes finally an electric car came filled with chinese tourists and cameras! I was so relieved and my former slanders were forgotten. So i enthusiastically sat in the car and indicated that we should go...and the driver indicated that we had to wait for the tourists to return from taking photos. so I waited more...half an hour later i was in tears and swearing to no one. I kicked the benches and swore the families of the drivers. I cursed and spluttered and shouted to the deaf heavens...the drivers sat stared at me with blank expressions and I continued to insist that we should go NOW!!! NOW!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eventually another bus came and he took me back face teary, heart and soul so consumed with Anger and frustration and disdain for all who crossed my path. One of the men in the car tried to practise his english with me and i told him not to talk to me or i'd cry! he stopped! once i got to the bus stop I started running, running down the hill as fast as i could, running like a crazy woman...i don't run usually, and yet running seemed like the most natural thing to do. i stomped in the mud, the shit, the puddles and just ran ran ran...when i reached the entrance i round Noa the koala, ate 8 big steamed buns and we set off for Daocheng.

My head was throbbing and the adrenalin pumping through my body was immense. I had not in recent times felt so ANGRY!!! And it was magnificent...FEELING!Feeling is amazing!

And now i must go and eat breakfast....Shangri la will be the next installment!

Loneliness creeps in unexpectedly

I left Kangding yesterday to journey further west towards Tibet on a bus that was due to leave at 6.30am. Bags packed shower had I set off at 5.45 feeling a bit sad to say good bye to Zhilam and two wonderful people I met there. I was honoured to spend the last 3 days in Kangding with Marcella and Bernardo, a couple who have cycled from Italy to here...we had a super relaxing time together, watching 5 Adam Sandler movies, eating flat yummy pasta from a muslim restaurant, dumpling soup which was so delicious and they introduced me to some of sichuans sweet treats. It was such a joy hanging out, so easy and super!

The bus journey was wild...as you'd expect heading into the wild west should be wild! I met 4 young gentlemen travelling on my bus and attached myself to them. They were 4 friends travelling together after not having been together for 4 years or so and this boys trip was their special thing. we had some complications on the bus for we sat and then were told to move to another bus so we moved and we sat and then were told to move back to the other bus but when we returned the only seats available were at the back and i had been warned specifically not to sit at the back on the road to Litang...well having no choice we sat at the back and boy was it a bumpy ride. i hit my head on the bus roof 3 times and was constantly on guard to protect myself from oncoming bumps in the road, of which there were many!!! well well...8 hours later we arrived at litang which is really cool. Tibetan architecture for homes is complete different to chinese and it's so charming. there are MANY tanned, long haired, leather jacket wearing, tall, handsome tibetan men on motorbikes cruising around as if on horses. the women wear long elegant dresses with their thick, long beautiful braids either wrapped around their heads or dangling behind. the old folk walk around with their individual spinning prayer wheels or the beads, chanting under their breaths and allow themselves to be interrupted when addressed, tashideli (which means something along the lines of may you be blessed...though i'm not 100% sure of that).

So yesterday upon arriving i cruised up and down the one street, identified my surroundings then headed back to my hostel. on my way i bumped into the four boys (they stayed in peace hostel) who were heading out to eat together. I said farewell and continued on my mission...in the hostel i sat alone and the pangs of loneliness all of a sudden crept in and sat with me. I guess i've been spoilt so far with meeting lovely folk where-ever i've stayed and spend quality time and space sharing food and good vibes and all of a sudden i felt alone. It was momentary as a german couple and I began chatting and we ate dinner together and shared stories and laughter. then slumber came and i met a new lady, a new yorker jewish journalist who had worked in Zimbabwe for a few years and knew some of mom and dad's friends from Harare...small world! We chatted before falling asleep and I arose a new woman, energized and ready for the world. the restaurant was empty so i wandered the streets for food to eat and the loneliness walked beside me silently as not to frighten me too much. I ate, i watched handsome tibetan men walk past, i wandered to the monastary walked up a hill then another all the time alone with my thoughts...and i felt that the solitude was something i had to acknowledge. So i walked further up and further away from the town, heart pumping, breath short, mind determined...and after some time i reached a peak only to see more peaks and worry started creeping in because i'd heard of a man walking on his own and breaking his leg and the rescue mission only being possible cause he'd had a phone on him and i left my phone cause no one is due to call me and then what would happen if i slipped cause the rocks were slippery and a slight drizzle was falling and the hill was steep and.....many many many more thoughts started overwhelming my little head then i heard a GONG from the monastary and it reminded me to breath. so i took a deep breath and began to laugh. I could walk down the hill and be safe and if i got wet it would be ok and there was such an amazing view and it didn't matter that i was witnessing it alone and plus if i fell and broke something...i'd have to deal with that then...no point anticipating it. I stood for a while let the drizzle dampen my physical state and calm my mental freak out and breath access my inner core. I made it down the hill with many words of encouragement from me to me to keep me motivated and safe (it was steep and slippery and raining). I made it down safely and smiled all the way back to the hostel. The loneliness now sits on my lap warm and cosy and the reality is I am alone! But now i'm ok with it and shall enjoy it while it lasts cause i'm sure soon i'll meet more super humans and share time and space once again.

I've lost FB access again...it's cold up here in the mountains (i'm over 4000 above sea level up here...no altitude problems for me :) My room is warm and cosy and clean. the food is good. the men are pretty...though i don't think i'm pretty to them...i was warned that the men were predators with their eyes when it came to foreign women but i've only received curious gazes rather than lusty leers. I've stimulated laughter too amongst some kids and ladies who find my hair style something alien and laugh worthy...kind laughs though.

I'll continue to shangrila tomorrow and will draw closer to Laos.

love and respect!
Tashideli!

Tandi