Finding writing again

It has been a while since I wrote,so long that I'm not sure where to start. Do I recap the past few years or like in a good diary or a good friend you just start with where you're at and what's important now. Right now, as I sit on my bed, which has been stripped of all linen, I'm surrounded by the bright white glow of naked pillows and a bare mattress. I've just climbed up and down Table Mountain and have also jumped in the freezing cold antarctic sea that always looks so welcoming yet is soo unbearable to immerse oneself in. I have a cup of rooibos with infused vanilla and the wind is gently caressing the guava tree outside. I'm feeling extremely tranquil and am extremely happy to be able to write.

Taking the time to sit down and reflect in words has always been a blessing for me yet these past few years I've rarely taken the time to do it. I've had moments of sadness where out of pure desperation I had to write in my physical journal in order to understand what the sadness was and where it sat in my mind but not taken the time to just reflect and play with the daily events that stir imagination and creativity but are lost if to captured there and then. So today before the eyes of this mine blog I commit to writing more often about the daily journeys of living and being.

I'm a teacher at EF Cape Town at the moment and have been so for the past three years.It seems that sometimes our career isn't chosen but chooses us. After four years of teaching in Norway I then committed another set period to the occupation of expanding our own world view by attempting to expand others'scope of vision. I've had a lot of students over the time I've been here and it has been extremely rewarding. I'm not the most structured of teachers but I'd like to hope that after each class there has been some learning and expansion that has taken place. I work with a great team of humans which is extremely dangerous because when there is time for change and development leaving is hard. Really hard. Really really hard. That time is coming for me again. It's a challenging time for a number of reasons that I'll try and examine because this has been sitting with weight on my shoulders. Starting afresh has perks of new beginnings yet there is such comfort in what is known and safe. I live with Arnold, my boyfriend of the last year and hopefully the rest of my Earth time. We live in a share house on Hofmeyr street in Gardens. We have eight homies and good vibes. We run twice a week along the Seapoint promenade and go to the free yoga at Yoga Zone on Thursday. We try go on an adventure every weekend and during the week we eat delicious home cooked food. A simple life we have created.

Now we have decided to go to Australia in the hope of expanding our work potentials financially. Both of us have pretty basic salaries here in the beautiful Cape and aren't feeling inspired by being broke at the end of each month desperately waiting for the next measly amount to be given for our heard efforts. Some times you have the perfect job with a less than perfect salary...money isn't e erything until you want to travel or start a family...and both of these dreams are in the pipeline. So the land down under doth call me home and beckons me to bring my Flying Dutchman across the globe into the unknown. The unknown is a bit daunting. New housemates, new work, new running route, new yoga prices, new friends, new networks, new places to buy our food, new, new, new. Now new is not always better nor is it worse, it's just NEW. And despite having had new more times than I can count it still gives me a knot in my stomachio. It still gets my mind racing and trying to play out millions of scenarios that could become realities in my waking and dosing moments. I have a great amount of faith that all will be well as it always is but I'd be lying if said I'm a vision of calm. It might be getting harder and harder to give up good things for other good things. I'm feeling a great sense of wanting it spread my roots and not have to move into a bigger pot for a while. Where I can grow my succulents and watch them transform on a yearly basis. That time will come.

I'll miss Cape Town. Of this I'm certain. The mountain cast a spell on me and she's fighting hard to convince me that this is where it's at. This is where I should be focusing my energy...but there are too many factors making me doubt here genuine concern for our future her...and when in doubt there can be a void in trust. So I hope to make the most of our remaining time here but time to spread my nomadic wings and return to the land of Oz. Perhaps, like Dorothy once I'm there I'll seek a means of returning but I'll only know that once I've taken that step.

Goals before leaving:

- climb Table Mountain once a week.
- go camping in beautiful setting as much as possible.
- run 21km
- travel up the West Coast
- have a BLAST.

Until next time keep rocking.

The courageous but brainless pigeon.

Whilst sitting and putting the last touches to my rather scatterbrained introduction essay that is due tomorrow morning, a courageous pigeon decided to take a stroll in through the open kitchen door. It paraded across the floor, did a nice little poo and the continued on into the lounge. I did no see the pigeon taking it's walk of honour through the house and after having printed out my first draft I decided to spoil myself to a cup of tea with sugar and milk and a cup-cake from Joe and Taryn's wedding, sit in the lounge and go through the essay attempting to rectify some of the oh! so grand errors that I can see yet know not how to fix. Whilst sitting there, sipping on my tea and with red pen scratching, crissing and crossing I heard a fluster of wings going wild some where, I heard and thought perhaps rocco was having a good old shake, as dogs are known to be great movers and shakers when they so feel like it. SO i proceeded to continue with my thorough damnation of my written essay and once again, this fluster of wings rattling again what sounded like a window. Not daring to further enter the lounge I decided to stroll around to the outside of the suspected window and there sitting like an empress on her thrown was a beautiful pigeon looking out through the window and terrible confused as to why she could see the world yet was bound by some invisible force that prevented her from taking flight. My initial reaction was simple, open up all possible doors and windows and gently coerce the bright and beautiful bird into simply flying out....just like I do with flies and mosquitoes when they are inappropriately sharing space with me, 'shoo, mosquito, i do not want to smack you so just fly out the window and we will both be winners.' Mosquitoes are intelligent beings when they're not suicidal and will often listen to my words of advice, so to with flies who do not simply try to fly out of one part of the window but buzz buzz buzz around the whole glass until they find a window of opportunity and take it for freedom is for the most part a much better prospect than the doom and gloom of death. Anyway, this pigeon, this bird, as beautiful and elegant as her appearances presented her, was not terribly bright and seemed to have loose bowels because she simply tried to fly in a similar manner to before the windows and doorways and portals to a better world were open and also do a helava lot of pooing. Meanwhile Rocco, sweat and noble Rocket of a dog was beside himself, how on earth had this alien being entered his territory without his knowing and why wouldn't it leave when he barked and why was it stressing out his Tanya so? He jumped at the bird and barked more and the bird flittered and flattered more and more relieving of herself on the window sill and it was all to much so Rocco and I retreated to the safety of the garden to attempt another strategy. I thought a wonderful thought scaring not scarring (just looked the spelling up and both came up....not sure which is the real gerund of to scare) the bird so picked up a harmless looking stick and threw it towards the window. This did not have the desired effect, Rocco thought we were playing fetch and launched at top speed into the garden and the bird didn't blink an eye-lid. So thought number two was to shoo the bird from the inside with a newspaper...Rocco, now in the mood for some fun jumped up and grabbed the news paper from my hand and that was the end of that idea. The not so bright at all pigeon by this stage was getting into quite a state and was frightened out of her wits. And I was babbling and babbling to the poor bird but communication was not working so I eventually opted to try and hold the bird and thrust it in the direction of freedom, after all people in movies always handle pigeons when they want to send messages to far away lands and so it is possible....so, sneaking up on it I tried to use a calm and controlled approach so that it would immediately trust me and know that I was not going to try and cook it, simply hold it for some milliseconds and then it would no longer be stuck...the brainless bird did not resonate with my thoughts and instead flittered and flattered in a fluster against the glass even more vigorously and I, afraid of it doing it's number two on my hands, also started frolicking and flinching and then miraculously I had this gentle and soft stressed out creature in between my palms, turned 90 degrees and set it off towards the light and she being able to utilize her wings in the open space gracefully flew away. Rocco thought I was the best thing since sliced bread after this bold and brave act and jumped up and down and wagged his wonderful little tail like the wings of humming bird and together we celebrated this feat by finishing off the delicious brandy soaked wedding cup cake (and him a dog biscuit). He now, so tired after the shenanigans i passed out on the carpet and I still have the arduous task of attempting to bring my essay to life.

The day journey....

Today was a day blessed with a bubbly beginning and unfolded into a spectacle of bursting bubbles blowing through the dry and hot Cape Townian bustle! A little bit of alliteration to Brighten up the Blog! Ha! Today was a lovely day in the world of I and I. I arose an hour and a half after my alarm (which has become the norm as I really don't have any where to be or any reason for rising at 7:30am) I attempted to do my morning ritual of body tapping and a little bit of of Yoga but once yoga matt was lain upon the floor and I began tapping I got terribly bored and took to plucking my eyebrows instead, which lead to chopping my fingernails and then pealing dead skin from my toes....perhaps too much detail, but a highly satisfactory experience it was. I now have nicely plucked eyebrows and VERY short finger-nails.

Morning routine thrown out the window I decided to listen to the radio whilst preparing some oats...I'm now updated on the latest music in CT and feel very happy to finally know what's in! Tomorrow morning I hope to listen to another, even 'cooler' radio station to affirm this mornings research. I gave Willow Smiths tune, I whip my head back and forth, a second chance too...the first time I heard that track I was appalled by the quality of the music coming out of the 'youth' today...this morning however I was able to do some moves to beat and look forward to our next rendezvous!

I had a big Chat with my little sister down under as it was her first day at a new school and was very happy to hear her report! She is a super trouper!!!! She however passed on other news which rattled my foundations a bit...relationships are a challenge in all shapes and sizes. One is never as lenient with other people as we are say with our pets. Other humans tend to have certain idiosyncrasies that can drive one mad or in worst case scenarios drive one to dislike or even despise others. I do feel my place in these situations hasn't ever been strong enough to come to despise another. I can see how many do come to this situation, but being the people pleaser that I am I am perhaps a bit to much of a chameleon and have a tendency to adjust accordingly in order to not have to end up despising. I have the ability to disconnect myself enough to try and make the different challenging experiences less challenging. Others with stronger wills and perhaps more integrity and conviction for what they see as right and wrong though do end up in situations which break my heart. When one has the ability to lose all hope in another whom they have loved or potentially still love but no longer hold an inch of respect then I feel rather deflated. But that is not my journey and I have to often make a decision to distance myself from others relationships even if the two parties involved are both loved ones. Each relationship must pan out in its own manner and I can only maintain the relationships with those in my sphere.

Speaking of relationships, I miss Aleksander! I miss his friendship and his council. I miss our great conversations and his intellect. I miss his acceptance of me and his honesty. It is a strange thing to miss...and I ponder this greatly lately because here in Cape Town I have my brothers and my sister-in-law as my daily companions (and the Rocket my four legged love) and I in fleeting moments miss having a friend with whom I can hang out with. After a day of reading I return from the library and am bursting with words and ideas and giggles and pokes and urges to converse and share stories and ideas and break down the activities of the day or simply banter on about some mundane topic that needs to be explored and for 6 years Aleksander was my partner in crime for such activities. Before Aleks there were good friends over the years who on a yearly basis also filled such roles...now I find myself writing to certain people whom enable my fingers to type freely to and babbling on like I do right now. So writing becomes my new friend, my new partner in crime until I meet a human I can openly share the madness with.

I went into town today, to Long street which is one of the main drags here with lots of bars, cafes, restaurants, backpackers, galleries and shops here in Cape Town. My intention was to buy tickets to a Rave I'm attending this weekend (another opportunity to boogy and socialize that I'm opening up for myself). So I bought the ticket and attempted to have small talk with the shop assistant and failed because my topic choice was a bit too brash, the amount of drugs at a Trance Party is not a standard conversation apparently. I was merely expressing that I wouldn't need drugs, that Coffee would suffice....anyways....afterwards I decided to spoil myself to some food and was immediately tempted by a Dosa Masala cafe...where I drank the most AMAZING mango Lassi and had a very tasty regular dosa masala and a frozen chai. It was so nice to be in the cafe that I read a play by Sam Shepherd entitled, Fool for love. The Cafe working Dude was lovely and offered me a little bit of small talk but I overheard him telling another customer that he had a terribly sore throat so I didn't push the small talk because I understand how uncomfortable it can be to chat when suffering such pain. The play was GREAT! which was a relief cause i'm still battling with another play: King Baabu...which I don't find so great, but it's a required reading for one of my upcoming classes so I have to battle through it. Fool for love, was a super little play, a pair of lovers are fighting cause the lad left the lass for another lady but has returned to re-light the flame of their relationship...she's not willing and has decided to move on and this makes him even more determined to win her love. Her new love potential comes and the two men get into discussions about the lad and the lasses relationship and it turns out they're half siblings sharing a father....(the plot thickens) but had an insatiable love for each other since their teenage years...she then gives in and decides to let him be her lover again, they hug, kiss, declare their love, he has to go to his car and he leaves her...a strange ending...yes...not what i expected but the play was written so well and I was engaged throughout it and my imagination was running wild with ideas on how to stage it and I could relate so much to what the characters were saying and THAT'S THEATRE!!! King Baabu bores me and i can't relate to any of the characters and I find it tedious and meaningless (for me).

SO after reading this play and feeling might inspired I returned to the Library and began to read another play, Topdog/underdog which I'm still reading. When the library closed I proceeded to wait for the Glorious Free Jammie Shuttle back to the main campus. As I sat and read two gentlemen approached and enquired as to whether I spoke french or not. I told them I did not speak french and they wanted to know why and I informed them that I've never lived in a french speaking country that has enabled me to learn how to communicate effectively. Turned out they were congolese and wanted to speak French. We then got into some very interesting conversation and I discovered that they work in the field of spreading awareness through theatre! They are a part of an NGO that deals with different social issues and one of the mediums of spreading awareness is through 'Ambush Theatre'! I'm still to find out more and do some research but based on what they told me it sounded too good to be true. Their colleagues, two beautiful congolese women, came soon after them and I was taken into their world for the duration of the bus journey.... the one lady told me she was tired...she said there was a lot of work that had to be done and she was tired....it was so wonderful to be in their company, they were so animated and ALIVE and although I could not always understand their conversations I was bubbling with joy to have been able to enter their world even for a brief bus journey.

Now I must sleep in hope of arising when my alarm clock goes off at 7:30am.

More on Ambush theatre next time!

Out of the house and onto the train...CT here I come!

I arose yesterday with a plan to go out and figure out how I was to go to and from University without a car. Anxiety sat in my system like a virus and eventually I broke down, sat on my bed and cried tears of not knowing, of being in a familiar place yet knowing that now the unfamiliarity had to be confronted, of being alone in the world despite having folk (and animals) around whom I love, of fear of being stabbed, rapped and mugged, of not having the safety of Norway or Australia around me, of having no friends, and missing my friends, of having no regular income to guarantee me the life I've lead for the past 5 years....and the list goes on, I shed tears freely and they flowingly fell and then I had a shower and got myself together, ready for the adventure of Cape Towns Public Transport.

I started the journey with a walk to an ATM where drew only an amount I thought I wouldn't mind losing (ha ha) then walked about 15 minutes towards the train station....along the way I asked a man on a bike and he had no idea where the station was, he just rode his bike and had never taken the train before. He recommended I go to the garden shop where someone would surely know...so i followed his instructions and headed there....i asked a guard at the gate and he knew not, then asked a man with some boxes and he had no idea either...then thought i should walk about 20 minutes to the left and perhaps i'd get to one there...then I saw a maintenance man who told me to walk 2 minutes round the corner and i'd be there...hurrah for the maintenance man.

I got there eventually and saw a number of people of different races gathered around there and the atmosphere was smooth....NOT what I was expecting...i foresaw doom and disaster and lecherous characters dubiously creeping around ready to pounce upon the obvious fresh and unknowing new meat daring to take the TRAIN!!!!!!!! So I bought my ticket - there were two choices, metro or metro plus, the difference being 2 rand between 1st and 3rd class. I chose 1st class! Sitting on the train I looked around me and in my sparsely populated carriage once again I saw many faces of South Africa all sitting and trying to be as inconspicuous as possible...their faces apparently (according to a gentelman I met) saying I'm just here on a train and I don't want any nonsense and I'm not gonna rob you even though I'm on the train, even though i'm black or coloured or a drug addict...i'm just on the train....just like you so lets just get on with this journey. I couldn't help but smile and was reminded of the London underground and a similar cold and reserved vibe where no one wants to mess with anyone else...just minding my own business y'all! ha ha!

I arrived at the central station and headed for info, there I asked for street and was immediately asked if i was after a backpackers...no, just the street, how do i get from here to Long Street? I was given instructions and of I went....and it was fine, walking in the city was fine. I found my way and made some decisions about which direction was suitable, asked some friendly-ish looking people for further directions and received all the help I needed, people were very polite and helpful! I met a very nice coloured woman who in fact walked me up the road and informed me of how to behave on the train and when walking and how much I was going to love Cape Town and how I MUST get my drivers license and that Crime in Cape town was relative...she remembered getting her bag almost snatched in London in mid afternoon and yet she's never been robbed here....SO!

Eventually made it Hiddingh Campas and there I was fortunate to achieve all I set out to achieve in order to begin reading some of the required readings for the course....there's a lot of reading and analysing South African Theatre so I have a lot to catch up on! I then took the FREE bus to the main Campus and met Trent Nightingale, a young Cape Townian actor, recently graduated from the UCT Acting stream. He educated me from his perspective about Cape Town and grateful was I to have the opportunity to talk to a fellow thesbian about this city and her multi faceted faces. He being a Christian Coloured young man was also a very generous informer and we had a super couple of hours chatting...and sharing. He also helped me find my bearings at the Main Campus which is HUGE!!!!!

I then spent some time in the....beautiful....calm....amazing....tranquil haven of Books....the LIBRARY! What a sacred place. Students sitting at tables indulging in knowledge from pages and words, silence and serenity engulfing my being...and SOOOOO many beautiful beautiful books....hmmm....i'm so excited to have this opportunity to be a student again and have a year or two dedicated to further educating myself and. . . . learning! HURRAH FOR LEARNING!!!

I borrowed four books yesterday and I must admit, as excited as I am for the chance to learn...i also foresee a challenge for myself. The academic world has been distant for me for the last 5 years and reading these books has made me aware of how "Academic" certain books and articles are and I have to try and understand what is written despite the rhetoric and big words that are used....I've spent the day attempting to get into it and read a whole chapter on the importance of language within a society and the use of Language as a controlling factor within multi-lingual populations.....ay yay yay! Interesting: Yes! Hard to understand the language: Yes! The irony that academic language is often not able to be understood by the lay-man yet the content is speaking about that point exactly...hmmm....

Now I prepare to go and see my first South African piece of theatre for the year, a comedy about race relations in south africa...appropriate: YES!

Love and respect!

Tandi

Cape Town and New Beginnings

As I sit here infront of my machine, the wind boldly blows outside and the sun shines, there are blue skies and Table Mountain sits happily in the background. Cape Towns beautiful! I consider myself fortunate to be here and think of those in Queensland, in particular Brisbane right now surviving the floods...an experience that they will surely come through with new insight and appreciation for the simple things in life. Mother nature is striking out at certain places and no amount of technology will alter her course...floods, bush fires, drought, tsunamis, earth quakes etc...they're there some where in the world and the everyday existence of those present is altered!

Cape Town has been a pretty wild experience so far, I arrived last Sunday after a long flight and a few hours in Transit in Windhoek, and went straight to my cousins wedding, where all of my family were gathered....it was wonderful to see them all and also a bit overwhelming. I then hopped in a car with my brothers and headed to a hens night for my brothers - now wife - then fiance - and we set off to a botanical garden where thousands were gathered to see a South African rock group. There was lots of champagne drunk and lots of fun and laughter...then when the gig was done, we decided to go to a bar for one drink and then head out for dinner with more family.....one drink turned into ten and at 3 in the morning after pole dancing and lots of hugging and "I love you's!" we stumbled our way home and fell into a drunken slumber...which lead to a drunken recovery next day....and a painful one at that!

(Tuesday) That day was a wasted day! And the next day spent shopping for a bridesmaids dress and some shoes to go with it...I found a lovely simple one after wandering the shops for hours. On Wednesday was my birthday, spent first of all lining in a queue for four hours in order to put in an application for my South African passport...it was a colourful experience, there were the many faces of South Africa in the Home office, some, like me, applying for their passports, others registering marriages and other registering births. There were Black Africans, White Africans (of both British and Afrikaans heritage), there were Coloured Africans, Zimbabweans, Nigerians etc....and I saw an image of the New South Africa, the rainbow nation that is hard to see in such close confines on a daily basis. Together we suffered the banality of bureaucracy and rejoiced when our mission was accomplished! I then got some other administration done like getting a south african number and finding a dentist. I had a delicious barbecue with my immediate family and then away into slumber I ventured again!

Thursday saw the family reuniting once again for a wedding rehearsal and then a nice sushi lunch, laughs and good vibrations...Friday I spent 3 hours in a line applying for my Learners licence and had a wee scare because I fainted in the line....they called the ambulance and I discovered that I have a very low blood pressure and that heat and lack of salt may result in my fainting in public....oops! I got my application in which was wonderful and then went shopping with my little brother to get him some clothes that fit him because he is growing like a sunflower in the perfect conditions, he was easy to shop for as he knew exactly what he liked and did not like which made the experience a glorious one.

Then Saturday came and that was the wedding day...and it was Perfect! Simple and smooth, fun and touching, funky and traditional! There were so many beautiful and amazing people that have been a part of My Brother and his Wife, Taryn's lives gathered to celebrate their joining. The speeches were short, quick and humourous and the grooving was funky too....when they departed, we partied on till about 5 in the morning and once again I found myself waking up feeling awful due to too much booze yet blissful for all the fun and laughter that was experienced. Sunday however was not a wasted day, we had a barbecue and more family time as my dad was due to leave the next day to head back to Mozambique...and the last few days i've spent just trying to get my head around the whirlwind of activity that has passed...yesterday I spent the day in bed, so happy to just lie down and have absolutely nothing that I had to do.

Next Are the explorations of how to get to and from uni in one piece :)

Retreat (from an email to a buddy)

I went to a Vipassana Meditation Retreat in Thailand at the end of my trip. I'd always wanted to experience 10 days of silence so I found one that fitted into my travels and made my way south, despite weather forecast warnings of heavy rain, cyclones and tsunamis in the surrounding areas. I had no real knowledge as to what such a retreat would entail, through the grape vine I'd heard of a girlfriend who had found herself crying for 5 days and had had a life changing experience as a result of her experience. And others I met a long the way who had previously attended simply smiled and said, 'Enjoy' without disclosing anything more.

The setting was very close to nature, the property was a 25 minute walk from the main highway and the contrast from cement and cars to trees and tranquility couldn't have been greater. The architecture was very basic, open concrete halls - sturdy and practical, no adornments such as paint and only a few pictures of the founding Monk Buddhadasa Bhikkhu scattered sparingly around. The rest was nature, nature, nature! The dormitories were basic 3 by 4 square meter cubicles with a concrete slab for the bed, a straw mat for the mattress, a blanket, mosquito net and a wooden pillow to elevate your head during slumber...my room had about 10 spiders in various ceiling locations, a gecko and some centipedes when I first entered and i think when I left there may have been more. There were 8 western toilets (which I cleaned each day as a chore) and 6 large water basins where one could fill their bucket and use to cleanse the body (no showers or hot water). There was however a natural hot spring which was available for our use twice a day, the water was 40 degrees and glorious!

The daily routine was as follows:

4am Wake up to bells chiming rhythmically for 10 minutes.
4.30 Morning readings.
4.45 Meditation.
5:30 body meditation (Yoga, Qigong and Tai chi),
7am Meditation/Dhamma talks.
8am Breakfast, Chores, own time (and hot springs).
10am Dhamma talk/meditation.
11am Walking meditation/sitting meditation
12.30 Lunch, chores, own time
2.30 Dhamma talk
3.30 Walking meditation/sitting meditation
5pm Chanting
6pm Hot chocolate/own time (hot springs)
7.30 Sitting and group walking meditation
9pm Bed
9.30 Lights out

All this in silence for 10 days. Some very committed people chose to also abstain from eye contact. Men and women were encouraged not to make eye contact as the opposite sex can be (are) a distraction :) Our dorms were separate and we did not share the same hot springs either.

This was a phenomenal experience for me.

I had been on the road for 4 months, I'd been through Russia, China, Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia and each place had had a different vibe for me personally regarding my activities as a traveler, the latter two been quite extravagant regarding partying and indulgence, and I'd also had a resurgence of guilt regarding my ex-boyfriend as he had decided that he needed to distance himself from me for a period of time and had sent a couple of quite heavy emails raising question about my morality and choices I'd made. Upon arrival in Thailand my emotional stability was rocky and the over-touristic, hedonistic and consumer driven atmosphere of Bangkok was also affecting my better senses. I'd had 2 days of island tranquility before the retreat to try and calm my nerves before the silence and I was anxious as to whether or not I was in the right state of mind to attend such an event...the fear of falling apart nagging at me.

Upon arrival however all worries and fears dissipated and throughout the process I let go of so much baggage I had been carrying around...and all cause of breathing! Just focusing on breath! That's all the meditation was focused on, breath, breath, breath. Long breath, short breath...just being aware of breath. I was blown away. There was also a lot of information presented in the Dhamma talks about the principals of Buddhism and releasing the self, I, me and myself. As well as the cycle of suffering and how humans get tangled tangled in the web. I learnt a lot of theory and feel a lot more knowledgeable about Buddha, his journey and his legacy. The breath and practice of living now was the greatest gift I received though.

The Journey Seems like a Dream

I am currently in Toowoomba, Australia with my Mum and Nikita. My little sister is no longer little, she is in her second last year of school and is pretty much a full blown human. My mother is well and currently in the process of movement, a new job requires relocation. And me, well...I'm here! I'm here right now in front of the machine and that's all I've got. Since I last blogged a tremendous amount of activity has occurred and no longer is...I passed through Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand and then arrived here in the land down under almost a week ago. It feels as if the journey was but a dream though, everything here and now is so real that 5 months of gallivanting from Europe to South East Asia does not feel real...and all I've got to show for it are a couple of Tattoos, some t-shirts and little nick-naks here and there...my internal journey of course is a different ball game and the experiences will always exist in the fibre that binds my body and prevents me from falling apart. And I was honoured to have made some new friends along the way, I met some people who have made my smile stretch from ear to ear and generously shared time and space with such fervour and love for which I'm eternally grateful.

I shall try and share some stories and thoughts about the trip though, for it really did happen and I'm an altered human due to the wonderful journey that enfolded upon a whim. I succeeded in having a journey that took me to me and exposed me to new worlds and humans, new thoughts and experiences, new sights and energies, new food and emotions...There were ups and downs! There was sobriety and delusion! There were tears yet an abundance of laughter, silence and noise, darkness and light, fear and bravado and I was there for it all and came through the other end with a smile on my face and health in my system!

I wrote an email some days ago and decided to cut and paste parts of it, so here are some snippets:

"From China I headed down to Laos where I was swept into the relaxed and peaceful world of the Laos people. Things don't move very fast and things don't happen very quickly. A boat trip said to take 5 hours could take 8, a bus trip said to be 9 hours could take 16. There was no rushing and things just flowed and happened when they wanted to. In Laos there are places with no cars and the only way to access them is by boat. Once there the one road is shared with cows, pigs, chickens, children playing games and fellow humans on feet. People greet each other simply because they pass each other on the street and if in the know a simple greeting could take a few minutes because there is time for such interaction. The nature all of a sudden became subtropical and lush, giant butterflies fluttered about, leeches squirmed in the bushes, trees hovered above seemingly touching the sky and the different shades of green presented a pallet for the eyes delight. Wide and generous Smiles hopped from face to face and an acceptance of life's treasures sat secretly behind each face. Here Buddhism too had a hold of the people yet a simpler less ritualistic existence for the monks was evident (no mobile phones and fancy cameras were owned by the Monks as they were with the Tibetan and Chinese Monks). Barefoot they walked about begging for alms and spreading loving kindness and tranquility in their paths. Trips on boats along the rivers were for me a highlight, sitting in a boat and watching the world go by around me...and the world being one of wild tropical nature. Monkeys swinging in the trees and birds swooping about! The food was also a treat, tropical fruit shakes everyday, coconut water flowing at every corner, vegetables grown in rich soil not contaminated by pesticides or too much high technology, a tomato smelling and tasting like a tomato. A banana without the powdery taste of been plucked to soon from her tree....mangoes....dragonfruit....lychees.....hmmm....


Vietnam was a complete change from laid back Laos....all of a sudden things got faster and more efficient and organised. People became a bit less smiley and more determined to get their dollar from you, you who are just a tourist and a source of income. Beneath the strong exterior though one can always find the human and they too were good people even if they wanted you to believe otherwise at times. Communism became more apparent and red flags waved at every corner, especially in the North, around Dien Bien Pho (where they defeated the french) and Hanoi. Up in the North I visited a place called Sapa that was very chilled and relaxed in comparison to the rest of the county and there one could get lost in the mountains walking for days through different villages where the hill tribes of the H'mong people (and other tribes) live. Rice paddies dominated the landscape and the temperatures were cooler. The rest of my time in vietnam was along the tourist route and I traveled with a young man who lived to Party so together we partied from the North to the South. We ate some of the most delicious and fresh Vietnamese food...always the best food coming from the streets rather than the restaurants. We visited sacred sites but were often disappointed because a lot of it was done up post the wars and therefore had a feeling of being slightly fake and designed purely for the tourists enjoyment ... this was not always the case...just often! Halong bay was a highlight though, the Limestone Islets protruding out of the water were a sight and a half and cruising along on a boat to see them was pretty special. Very touristic which is expected as it is Vietnam's Eiffel tower in many ways so no escaping that.

From the Hustle and Bustle of Ho Chin Minh City I returned to tranquility, in Cambodia. It is the poorest of the South East Asian Countries and despite been so close to Vietnam and Laos was a new world once again. It's own history, it's own story and it's own way of doing things. The people too looked different and had a general different vibe to them. More smiles yet not with the same relaxed nature as the Laos. There are endless possibilities to volunteer ones services in Cambodia from being a presence in an orphanage to teaching English to local entrepreneurs. I didn't get involved with anything but met many who had and said it was an experience worth doing over and over again because in that way one is able to really connect to the people rather than simply purchasing food and accommodation from those running businesses. I had planned to speed through Cambodia over to Thailand but ended up staying almost 3 weeks. I met some really lovely people and just had to stop and breath after the wild partying adventures in Vietnam. There I spent time by the beach and entertained the many children selling what ever they could to the tourists in order to earn some cash. I let them paint my nails, give me massages, make bracelets and slowly but surely take money money money...being bombarded by children selling stuff was something I experienced only in Cambodia and it was pretty intense because they were business savvy and used the fact that they were cute kids to their best advantage, they would play on cuteness and if that didn't work they would try for empathy, "i need to buy new school uniform", "I have no parents" etc...it was a tough things deal with for me...especially cause I've worked with kids for the past 4 years, kids the same age as them...but again new experiences.

The ruins of Angkor Wat were pretty impressive and after 3 days of exploring that ancient Kingdom I was exhausted from all the stimulus. There were not so many tourists when I was there and I felt overwhelmed, I can only imagine what it must be like in Peak season! But they were amazing. In particular what stood out was the power of nature. The strength of the trees to burst through stone and engulf such big structures in her vines and roots. having a tree growing over a wall was just phenomenal!"

Until next time....

Love and respect

Tandi